Ask Curtis: Brining Up Sensitive Conversations

Dear Curtis:
My mother lives alone and has had several accidents over the last year. I have been concerned with her being able to take care of herself and with her recent accident, am even more so; however, I am afraid to approach her. What is a sensitive and appropriate way to approach this subject with my mom?

Concerned in Athens

Dear Concerned:
It is quite natural to have apprehension about

approaching a loved one regarding possible assisted living – will they take it as a sign you don’t care about them anymore, or worse that you feel they are not able to make decisions any more and in turn they are a “burden”. This is a common concern in our ever-growing senior population; however, this subject is not one to be postponed, especially if she continues to have accidents. It is important to remember that this is a decision that you will be making together.

Sit down with her and go over your concerns, but reassure her of your love and support. Go over the options – there are a great many options available to help your mother, from a part time in-home visiting nurse, to independent or even assisted living facilities. Long gone are the days of the classic “nursing homes” – today’s independent living and assisted living facilities are designed specifically to improve the quality of life of its residents through its social activities, more communal feel and meals that are more like homemade than cafeteria. Take your mom to see several local facilities and talk with some of their residents, – this will begin to take away some of her fear and apprehension. Most importantly, make sure she is comfortable with the decisions you both make along the way – if you do that, then her transition will be much smoother and she will be ultimately much happier.

If you have questions or suggestions for Curtis, email him at: curtis@ashtonseniorliving.com